The season of lent is fast approaching. Ash Wednesday is tomorrow, in fact, and I have contemplated what I should give up for the next 40 days, and ultimately for good. As I sat in counseling this evening with my husband, my answer came to me. I am going to give up fear...wait, just saying it like that doesn't sound right, let me rephrase...I am going to give up my fear to the Lord. Yes! That sounds better and possible.
Truthfully, I attempt things in my life that I am almost 100% positive I can succeed at...i.e. going to school for cosmetology instead of for journalism. Don't get me wrong, I love and have a passion for doing hair but my dream was actually to write for the New York Times. I did not pursue that dream because I was not confident as a student and afraid it would not become reality and so I spared myself from possible failure but in doing so I limited myself from greater accomplishment. Fear stopped me from full-filling my heart's desire. I still fall into this same pattern today in my Christian walk. I tend to extend just the right amount of grace to show the level of Christ's love that I am comfortable with while still maintaining some self preservation. Fear stops me from experiencing the true love of Christ, and from giving it to others. Fear stops me from being who I desire to be. I need to stop allowing myself to avoid the possibility of pain, struggle, and FAILURE when the truth is all of those things WILL mold me into the person I long to be as long as I allow it to with God's help.
I am more amazed at you every day. Your determination to blur the boundaries of where you end and where Christ begins is awesome to see. Continue pressing into Him, Joy. You are truly an inspiration. I am blessed to call you my friend.
ReplyDeleteWhat Christi said.
ReplyDeleteJoy - your post could have been written by me at your age (well, I couldn't write it as well as you, but my sentiments would have been the same) and here I am at 48 finally being able to walk with less fear most of the time. Keep pursuing - don't give up. Print those scriptures out and keep them all over the house until you can say them to yourself every time you feel that enemy try to come home and settle back in your mind.
ReplyDeleteYou are a beautiful young woman and you can do this! I love you.
Joy,
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing woman! God has given you the gift of being able to look at yourself and see the woman He created you to be - many women struggle with that.
It's never too late to pursue your dream! :)
I love you!