There's no place like Home

My first born and I have been sparce on one on one time together as of late due to pre-k starting.  We have found it hard to adjust as we embark on this new adventure for we have been attached at the hip since she was born.  Needless to say it was quite enjoyable to go into our basement/movie room, just her and me, and watch one of my favorites, a movie I have enjoyed since childhood.  As the Wizard of Oz started, we sat hand and hand.  I could not have asked for a more joyful moment then there on that couch with my Joci.  She sat, intently watching, the entire movie and as Dorothy said her goodbyes just before leaving Oz, an unexpected lump crept into my throut.  "Well, I... I think that it... that it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em... and it's that if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard; because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with."  I suppose I was thinking of her finding her own way into adulthood and the places she may venture to but mostly it was the hope that she will always find her hearts desire at home.  I don't really mean home with her father and me, but home at the feet of our Abba.  Most of us, at one point or another, wonders if where we are is where we belong, or if there is a place where we would be happier, more appreciated, more loved.  We often seek out different things to try and fill this longing of something greater.  We may momentarily find that in a foreign land doing foreign things, life is brighter than the place in which we left but when the newness wears off, it feels no different than what we had before.  Our search for joy and peace can not be found in a different atmosphere or wearing a different identity but within the intimacies of Christ. When Christ gives joy, he gives it to it's fullest.  John 15:11 says: "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."  Joy and peace are simple and unencumbered.  They don't need anything to exist, only God and the portions He gives.  My prayer is not only for my children to always have these virtues of Christ no matter what adventure life takes them on but that I/we all have and know it as well.   

You are forgiven, no strings attached.

"Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against you, in thought, word, and deed, with what we have done and what we have left undone.  We have not loved you with our whole heart and we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.  We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.  For the sake of your son, Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us, that we may delight in your will and walk in your ways, to the glory of your name.  Amen."

Every Sunday, the congregation of Christ the King (the church with which I am apart of), humbly bows on bended knee, if capable, and prays this prayer.  Not one among us can stand with head held high, proclaiming that he has no need to confess, for we all know that the person to the right of us, to the left of us, to the front of and behind us but especially ourselves, falls short of God's glory.  Thus we confess and repent.  We do this so that we can be in right standing with our Lord.  So that nothing is hindering us to delight in Him and walk in His ways but the confession, for most, is the easy part.  It's walking away, knowing your garment carries no stain or evidence of your sin is where many of us get hung up.

It's obvious that Christ knows we are sinners so telling him that we are, is fairly easy, it's accepting His forgiveness that stops us short in our tracks.  We feel that if we don't carry the guilt, the penalty, the burden of wounding others, then somehow we are not human.  It feels almost wrong to accept forgiveness without first paying back the debt somehow.  We don't feel it is right to go without seperation from God for the things we may have done or left undone.  We feel the guilt will keep us in check, the burden will help us white knuckle through temptations, and time after time we lose.  We lose because the more guilt we feel, the heavier the burden gets, the more an escape or a way to hide feels safer but all the while, we fall further and further away from our Lord, our Abba, and deeper and deeper into the entanglement of depression, lost battles, and sin  we become.  Right where our enemy wants us.  He does not want us to accept forgiveness, to walk in freedom, to have the knowledge that God doesn't forgive us for us, but for himself so that he can love on us, cuddle with us, guide us, shepherd us.  If we become accepting of God's love and forgiveness for ourselves, the freedom to love and forgive others would grow in abundance, changing the lives of many.  It would be an epidemic, something the enemy and destroyer of our souls does not want in the least.

When Christ hung on the cross, He stood in front of you before the Lord and said, "I did it.  I was the one who lied to my parents.  I was the one who betrayed my best friend.  I was the one who had an affair on my spouse.  I was the one who abused drugs and alcohol, got behind the wheel of a car and killed an innocent life.  It was me that hit my children in anger, cursed a life you created, aborted my unborn child.  It was me that tore a family apart and spread rumors about one of my classmates.  Blame me Father.  I am the one to be punished, to bore this sin.  Turn your eyes from me."  Then after He took on all our sins, He turns to us and says, "You are forgiven.  Will you accept that?  Will you accept my gift of freedom?  Go and sin no more."

I urge you, accept what our Christ has done for you, is doing everyday for you, and walk in guilt no more but in freedom.  Help those around you who can not seem to grasp this reality but live in guilt constantly.  Help them see that Christ is all about love, not condemnation, freedom, not chains, and relationship, not seperation.