The Ripple Affect

My son walked through the door in his usual way, ever so quietly, hoping to sneak past to avoid my twenty questions.  Despite his efforts, I caught him and started in.  "How was your day?  Did you finish all your school work?  What homework do you have?  Are you caught up on your reading?"  His answers were very short and evading which led me to pry more.  You know what I'm talking about moms.  To shorten the length of this lengthy tale, he was a bit behind with no real answers as to why.  Needless to say, I was at my wits end.  We have done this song and dance for more years than I wish to remember and thus called my husband to vent.  He too was at a loss.  With Mack upset because I had him doing his homework in front of me and Seth on his way to his counseling session, God began to work without my knowledge.  When Seth walked through the door, frustration rose between father and son and the battle of our son's heart began.   The father began to ask the difficult questions that made the son unsure of himself.  "Do you think you have what it takes?  Do you think you are perfect the way you are?  Are you proud of your heart?"  With tears in his eyes, the young man just shook his head.

Flash back two years ago, same scenario, only skip the "Seth going to counseling" part and in he walks, frustration rises and the father's question sound something like this.  "What is wrong?  Why can't you just do what you are told to do?  Why aren't you succeeding?"  Tears would roll and each would go their separate ways.

Back to present day:  After seeing the sorrow in our son's heart, Seth and I do not relent.  We are BOTH able to see what is going on here.  Satan has our boy's head wrapped up in lies and we are about to put up a fight.  Mack has such an amazing heart for others.  He is loving, compassionate, and self sacrificing to a fault and he has expressed that his peers at school find him "weird".  A lie straight from the depths of hell but still there is some withdrawal coming from Mack.  I spoke up, "Your dad is so proud of you Mack, but the enemy wants you to believe he's not.  He wants you to believe your dad wished he had a different son.  He wants you to believe your dad wishes you were different."  We watched as our precious one crumpled.  I hit a nerve, a wound, a lie Mack had been believing for a long time and to his aid we ran.  Seth began to speak truth into the darkened place the only way a father can and as best we could we instructed our son in how to spot his enemy and overcome him.  The most amazing thing I could have heard in that moment came, "I felt Satan leave." Mackenzie said.  THANK YOU JESUS!!!

The Lord of omnipresence knew this night was coming and prepared the way.  It took the father starting his journey to healing in order for the son to begin his...a beautiful ripple affect.  Though, in our minds, it took a long time to reach this point, it was all at the same time for our Abba.  He is, and was, and is to come.  All is working out for His glory and we praise His name for it!

A Dark and Stormy Night

I have thought about it and tried in every way possible to spin this into God teaching me a lesson some how but let's be honest, it's just not happening, why? simply because it is laughable and He probably got a good laugh too.  So here is my spin on Tuesday night's event.

It was a dark and stormy night at the McGee's
With nothing on the tube, if you please
So to pass the time with a little fun
Mr and Mrs starting picking, and tickling, and relenting none
Rings came off, and the boxing began
A One, two punch in Mr. McGee's hand
He blocked her playful blows with the reflex of a cat
But Mrs. McGee had a trick in her hat
She distracted him with her flailing moves
Then came up with a kick to his buttocks grove
She thought she had him until the loud "POP"!
And on one leg she began to hop
"MY TOE, MY TOE" she yelled in pain
Mr. McGee thought she was playing a game
But upon further investigation, he saw she was hurt
And bigger the toe grew, like a sausage about to burst
The ice and advil he did grab
To aid the Mrs and hide his laugh
"Fractured in three places" said the doc the next day
"No more kicking your husband, OK?"
"No more running, biking, or step class for awhile"
"No 5 inch heels, but an ugly boot for style."
Cry I did, and stupid I felt
Into a puddle, I began to melt
But alas, hope rose and laughter came
With jokes of how I had become lame
"I broke my foot off in your tale"
"I hobble like Quasi while getting the mail"
Lila made fun by stomping like a sumo
Who wouldn't laugh at that, do you know?
So laugh, we all have, it is pretty funny
"Never kick someone where it is not sunny"

FOOD!!!

I strapped fear to my back like a load of bricks pulled by a tether and started the race.  Hours went by where I felt strong and felt I could keep going on like this for a long while but then someone on the side lines would yell out, "I can't believe you are doing this.  You can give up if you want to."  Almost immediately my legs would grow tired, my breath would shorten, my stomach would knot and before I knew it that load of bricks would come barreling forward, slam me in the back and knock me to my knees.  It would take days sometimes for me to get up, get back in the race, and start moving again but eventually I would find the courage to do so and diligently I would strap up again only for the cycle to reoccur.  One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.  I was insane and knew it but was unsure about how to change or fix it.  I specifically remember one moment where I was sitting in the living room, watching a t.v. show where one of the characters was in a mental hospital, drugged out of his mind, staring out the window because that was all he was capable of and I thought, "Wow, what I wouldn't give for that."  Giving up sounded so pleasant, more pleasant than running with this load of bricks, that was for sure.

When God told me to give up fear He wasn't saying, "I will give you the endurance you need to carry those bricks." or "I will be right here, cheering you on as you run the race with that heavy load." but rather, "Get up, start running and guess what!?!  I will carry those bricks."  WHAAAA??  Seriously?  You want to do that?  But, it's my deal, my  situation.  How about you take half and I'll take half and off I went, stupidly, thinking somehow that would work.  Again, I was insane.  Tired I grew, wearily my legs gave out and SLAM! the bricks would knock me down.  Crap, that didn't work.  "Hello, I will carry those for you.  Don't be stubborn, Joy, or a hero.  I can do this but you can not, without me carrying the load."  Alright, you asked for it.  I got up...again, left the harness attached to the bricks on the pavement and took off, full on sprint.  It has felt amazing.  I've tripped up a few times here and there but my Abba has reached out in the nick of time to keep me from falling.  One thing I have experienced during this and was unaware would occur is physical exhaustion.  Why?  What is this?  And then, this morning the Lord told me.  "You are not feeding yourself."  Ha!  Wanna bet?  I eat and eat and eat sometimes.  "Not that, silly girl."  He says with a giggle, "My food.  The Word!"  OOOhhh!!!  Seth and I read together at least three times a week and God has done amazing things through that, but I need now to add to that by feeding myself, feeding mine and His relationship, allowing Him to restore this body with the strength and endurance it needs to finish this race.

HE IS GOOD AND HIS LOVE ENDURES ALL.

Unworthy yet Worth It

The sanctuary had it's usual familiar faces spread out in the rows on this dreary Sunday morning.  The processional started the way it always does, the newest deacon to the eldest of priests with the crucifix and gospel in between but something felt different.  Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and an excitement rose in my heart, tears uncontrollable filled my eyes and the sound of angels singing rang in my ears. I stood, arms reaching up, head held high, feeling such humility.  "I have nothing to offer you, Lord.  My clothes are hand-me ups (as my sister-in-law like to call them), my hands are empty, my banking account, not so big...I am so unworthy of this place and yet you have invited me here to be with you.  How can this be?"  "I just want you, Joy." He answers.  "I want you when the sun is shining down on you, when your world is all as it should be, when things are going according to plan.  I want you in the desert place, when you are walking through the wilderness, when the darkness is closing in.  I want you to always be mine and remember me.  Remember what I have done for you, what I am doing for you now, and what I will do for you in the days to come."  Again, unworthiness all -consuming fills my heart and though people are all around, I am unaware of their presence.  I am soaking up eternity. "Look over at your husband, Joy.  See what I am doing."  Through a tear filled vision, I turn to look over at Seth and there he is, boldly standing with arms out stretched, eyes upward, singing praises to our Abba.  I am in awe.  My world is spinning, healing is happening, restoration is taking place, renewal has occurred and I am frozen in shock.  I knew the Lord was capable but I never could have imagined it happening with such amazement.  It's too much for me to soak in.  I feel like I am walking in a dream.  The closest I can equate this to is what Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, must have felt after escaping the fiery blazes with the Lord by their side.  It's just unreal.  The Father that formed me in my mother's womb has orchestrated this beautiful symphony and has chosen me...me to be witness to it.  I wanted to walk out at times.  In the midst of pain and hurt, I wanted to bolt.  I wanted to choose a different path because I was sure God screwed up somehow in placing me here and I would have missed it all.  Even now, with the memories of my thoughts about abandoning this place makes me shutter with guilt.  "How could I have been so selfish Lord?  I am so unworthy but so grateful that You did not give up on me like I wanted to on you, like I actually did at times.  Forgive me Abba.  Forgive me.  Thank you for your love, your mercy, your grace.  I love you!"  He lovingly replies, "You are worth it my dear, worth it all!"

The Lord has done great things!

I forgot the diapers

I found another interesting, oddly shaped, uniquely colored suitcase this morning on my way to the gym and guess what, it belongs to the infamous "inability baggage" riding on the carriage of fear.  It's name: BLAME -   The inability to own up to your actions.

I pulled into the parking lot very proud of how well our morning was shaping out to be.  My girls and I are finally adjusting to the time change and are beginning to make "being on time" a habit again.  As I looked around for a parking spot, there was my girlfriend waiting on me. "Awesome, she's on time too!"  Then without missing a beat in what was shaping up to be a perfect drum solo rhythm, a truck started backing out of a "rockstar" parking space.  "It just gets better and better."  I pulled in, turned off the car, looked back at my girls and it hit me...I forgot to put diapers in the diaper bag.  No worries, Wal-Greens is right next door.  I can run in and out in five minutes and we can get back to rocking this day out.  With a quick explanation to my friend who looked confused at my giving up the perfect parking spot, I was off.  I ran into the store, found the baby isle, size 3 Huggies were on sale "SWEET", got up to the register, swiped my card and...NOT APPROVED!  What?  That can't be right.  "Can I try it again?" I asked the clerk.  And so, a push of a button, another swipe and "Beep....NOT APPROVED".  "Ugh, you are kidding me."  "Can you try swiping it? Maybe something is wrong with this machine."  Ever so annoyed, the clerk did as I asked only to get the same result.  So here I was, diaperless, penniless (so it seemed) and unable to go to the gym.  It must be my husband's fault!  He has screwed up somehow and I am about to let him know just how amazingly upset I am.  I jump into the car, drive off in a rage, check my rearview mirror and then realize I have forgotten to buckle my three year old daughter in.  "GREAT!"  On top of everything, I now get the Mom of the Year Award <insert sarcastic tone here>.  After pulling over, buckling her in, I called my girlfriend to let her know I wouldn't be coming after all, hang up with her, furiously dial Seth because it was time to play the blame game.  I threw on my well fitted boxing gloves perfect for shoving my problems onto someone else and my unsuspecting husband fell victim to my rage.  He handled it like a champ, I must say and after slight investigation, I found out it was a mistake on both our parts but easily fixable.  I reached my driveway and felt horrible for what I had just done to Seth and knew an apology was in order.  It was there that God began to speak to me, teaching me yet another lesson.  For a long time, I have blamed other people for my behavior.  "If it wasn't for what they had done to me then I wouldn't be this way," my excuses would go and out of fear, I blamed.  I blamed because admitting I was wrong made me vulnerable.  I blamed because showing that I could screw up meant that my argument to be perfect was null and my point was void.  I blamed because it excused my erratic behavior and correcting it meant I could no longer hide in self pity.  I felt safe in self pity but I am now learning to feel safe in the arms of Christ thus realizing that blaming can no longer be apart of my life either.  I am to own up and weed out with a boldness that says, "I am fearing not, for He is the Lord".  Talk about spring cleaning.   I do thank you Lord for showing me once again how your love can conquer all and I do not need run to unstable structures for shelter but to your everlasting arms always.  I love you!

    

The spiritual side of Inception

*If you plan on watching Inception and haven't yet, then do so before reading this blog*

At the closing scene of the movie, Inception, my mind was racing.  I loved it and immediately God started showing me the "real" version of this movie.  When we are young innocent children, an idea or thought is planted in our little minds.  These thoughts, normally brought on by wounds, begin to take root as an absolute truth, i.e. "You are not good enough.  You are not worthy of love.  You are too much to handle.  You are only good for ______.  etc..."  and we live them out as if they are who we are.  God will try to give us a "kick" (like that shown in the movie) to pull us out of our unrealistic world but all too often we are too afraid to follow His truth.  What we normally end up doing is sabotaging any relationship we have just so we can prove that "implanted thought" right.  My theory is that the reason why we can't believe or why we choose to not believe anything other than these "thoughts" as truth is because the one who wounded us, causing these "thoughts" to appear, was a person who was suppose to love and protect us and if they didn't believe we were worth anything, why should we believe we are.  Here's the thing though, it isn't the one who wounded us that implanted the idea in our head that we thought was truth, it was the sin and we are not suppose to be looking towards man to show us our self-worth, it is God!  Satan, through sin, implanted a lie having us believe it as truth and walked away satisfied and every time Christ would try to rescue us out of this mythical world, Satan would place fear in front of us, causing us to hesitate when the "kick" came and possible causing us to loose ourselves to "limbo".  BUT if we follow the "kick", allowing Christ to rescue us out of Satan's lies, we will arrive to reality, to the truth, the actual truth, a truth even greater than the one depicted on the movie where Cobb (the main character) was able to be back with his family.  Our truth is that God loves us without agenda, without expectation, without condition.  We are not a disappointment, we are good enough, worthy enough, and why?  Because He, the creator of all things created US as well, for Himself so that we could be in relationship with Him.  Yes, sin has screwed us up and made us believe horrible things but it's time we realized the truth and no longer allow Satan to crush our true identities with his lies.

It may sound cheesy but it's true!

I sat there, waiting.  The cold air filled my lungs and escaped with a puff of visible mist.  The sky was gray, no sun in sight and a feeling of sadness weighed heavy in the atmosphere.  Though I felt confident, there was still this confusion.  I couldn't remember how I got there or how to leave.  "How did this happen?"   I looked around for familiar faces but they all seemed shaded.   Nothing seemed too threatening though and if I wasn't being threatened, I suppose I shouldn't be on guard?  I began to feel safe in this cold foreign land so I decided to stay there, right were I stood, instead of getting out like I knew I should.  Frozen but without consciousness of it, He stepped up to me.  A glare covered His face, unlike the darkness that covered the others. He was different but familiar at the same time.  His voice sent warmth and chills at the same time.  "Why are you still here?" He asked.  "I just felt like staying awhile.  I just got so tired."  "Why didn't you ask me for help?"  another question came.  "I started to like it.  No one bothers me here.  No one asks anything of me.  No one even cares that I am standing out here in the cold.  It feels safer to me."  "You took your eyes off of me and now you are stuck.  Will you let me help you find your way back home?"  He asked.  "But I've been here for so long it seems, I'm scared I will lose my way or my enemy will attack."  I answered.  Holding out His hand, he silently promised protection, all I had to do now was take it.  As soon as I did an amazing energy surged through my body, my pale skin now had a pink hugh, and without even moving one step the world around me changed.  No more sadness, no more gray clouds, it was beautiful.  Everything seemed so much clearer now.  "One more thing," He said, "There," He pointed His finger, "There is your enemy.  Now you know exactly what he looks like and should he attack, call on Me and I will defeat him for you.  All you have to do is recognize him when he comes and I will take care of the rest!"

And the Lord has done just that.  Last week was amazing.  It was the first time in a long, long time that I had consecutive days of peace.  Don't get me wrong, the enemy tried to launch fear at me any chance he could but WOW, it is so much easier to rebuke him when you recognize what he is trying to use to destroy you with and when you know you can not defeat him without the power of Christ.  Thank you Lord for this knowledge and the ability to recognize my enemy.

Something New

After nine long laboring hours, my dear, sweet, diligent husband is finally putting the last screws in our new front door.  I must admit, I am more excited about this new threshold in our home than I had expected to be.  It feels like a fresh start.  We have walked through some rough terrain these past couple of years and that old door that use to occupy the space which led into our lives had taken a beating.  I suppose I didn't realize how looking at it every day was a small reminder of all the things we have gone through but now that it's gone and a beautiful, pure, spotless, white door has taken it's place, it's kind of freeing. I have been having a hard time with God renewing things in my life but having them still physically look the same, if that makes any sense. But with this small change, it's as if God has given me my heart's desire.  He has given me something new to remind me of His daily renewed blessings.  The story of the passover comes to mind tonight, when the people covered their doors with the blood of a perfect lamb and I am overwhelmed by the symbolism.  Thank you Abba for my "something new" and thank you honey for working so hard all day. 

Starting to Remember...

There was a time, not so long ago, that I felt so in sync with the Lord.  We jived well; we talked non stop; I felt so secure and soaring on wings of Eagles was real to me but then something happened.  Hurt hit hard, like a tsunami without any warning, washing away EVERYTHING and unfortunately my faith was swept out to sea in the undertow.  I didn't even realize it had left.  I felt I was still walking with the Lord, seeking his will, but now there was this block, this feeling like we were not connecting and it was aggravating me to no end.   My peace was gone, my joy had melted, and a child-like helplessness had replaced it all but I could not for the life of me figure out why I could not fix it...until now.  It was fear all along.  The devastation of the storm and the vision of the shredded aftermath sent me into this indescribable state of mind that was all about self preservation and it's as if I suffered some kind of amnesia as well, unable to remember what Christ could do, what he had already done for me. The scary thing is and I mean really scary, was that I was COMPLETELY  unaware of what I was doing or what was going on.  I would fight you tooth and nail if you told me I wasn't trusting the Lord and I would win the fight too by quoting scriptures, prayers, revelations but then when I walked away, I still felt so very distant from him.

When God told me that I was suppose to let go of fear for lent, I had no idea what he was up to.  I thought, "Huh, how hard could that be?...ok!"  But then, as I have already told you, I realized it wasn't so easy and why wasn't it when I thought I had already been trusting in the Lord?  Control!  Control is another big suitcase in that "inability baggage"  I talked about earlier.  It's the inability to allow God to have control because of fear.  God has shown me that I try to control a lot and anytime a situation has come up this week he bluntly but ever so gently says, "See...your doing it again.  Give it to me, come on, give it here.  I will take better care of it than you can and then you don't have to worry about it."  Phew...that has been hard.  I have kicked and screamed like a child not getting his way but you know what, my Abba just sits down beside me on floor where I am pitching my fit and says, "I know sweet girl, you've been through so much, and it hurts me more than you know but if you will just let me have control, you will not have to be burdened with it any longer and you and I can laugh and play together...again."  Again?  Again?  Oh yeah, I remember those days now.  I remember that freedom, that joy, that love.  How I have missed it.  How did I let it slip away?  "Yes Abba, yes.  Take it!  Let's dance together...AGAIN!"

It's all coming back to me now, but somehow it feels a little sweeter than it did the last time and I am looking forward to what is to come and learning again how to trust in our God.  Thank you Lord.  I love you!

Bless this Mess

There's this new song on the radio right now and I think that the writer looked into my life and said, "Ah, let's make a song about her...it could be a greatest hit."  Before you think I am bragging about myself, let me just share with you some of the lyrics.

I lost my keys, into the great unknown
Call me please, cuz I can't find my phone
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust you know exactly what you're doing
It might not be what'd I would choose
But this is the stuff you use.

It is so me!  I go frantic when something throws a wrench into my highly organized, extremely perfected, down to a science schedule and to be honest, I think God has a little giggle.  Thankfully, when I settle down, I get to have a little giggle as well about my over-reaction and then God and I get to have a little chat about how to correct my behavior and hopefully the next time my freak-out-ometer will only reach yellow instead of red.

You know, I should have done my homework before "giving up fear" because it comes with a lot of
"inability baggage"...i.e. the inability to have patience.  When I fear something will go horribly wrong or let's be honest, when I fear it won't go my way, I lose the patience to find out just what and how God can turn that situation into something amazing, more amazing than I could ever imagine.  Anything from losing my keys, to opening up to my husband, to loving on my kids or making a new friend.  All of these things take time to do and I need to learn to let go of my wonderful but, admittingly, to tight schedule, let go of fear AND impatience , and allow God to something amazing or quiet honestly, I will miss it.

Thank you God for teaching me more lessons than I chose to learn on this journey.  I thought I was getting off pretty easy but I suppose you figure while I'm in the batting cage, you might as well keep throwing balls at me, huh? :-)  I will continue to do my best to hand you the bat so that I can actually learn these lessons rather than trying to do it on my own.  You Rock God!  I love you and thank you!

Failing Miserably

I'm only on day two of this giving up fear thing and I am failing miserably.  It is exactly like Paul said in Romans 7:19 "I do not do the good thing I want to do, but I do the wrong thing that I do not want to do." Here I am trying to do what I want to do, which is fear not and trust that the Lord is who he says he is and allow him to take control but I am fighting it so much and I have no idea why.  I know, in my heart, that God will take care of me, just as he always has but it's almost like an involuntary reaction to protect myself and I don't know how to give it up...to not react.  It's like trying not to blink.  WHY IS IT SO HARD?  I just want to be pleasing to God but the truth is, I suck at it.  I am like a scared child, "But Abba, what if I get hurt?, What if they are mean to me? What if I try doing what is right but end up hurting them?"  And what would His response be?  "Fear not, for I am the Lord your God."  So I'm just suppose to throw caution to the wind, close my eyes, and walk on the water, huh?  Oh Peter, you were much more brave than many give you credit for.  I certainly pray for a moment of the moment that you had doing exactly what our Lord asks of us.  


"Just do it, Joy!" He says,  "Go, get out of the boat, and if you begin to sink, get hurt, get scared, freak out, I will rescue you.  I will take your fear.  You do not have to hold onto it because I want to."


"But how will I know you will save me Lord?"  I ask.


"Because I always have.  I've gotten you this far and if you let me, I will take you even farther."


*sigh*  Ok, here I go again.  I am laying down my fear.  Please help me Lord, please!

Giving it up

The season of lent is fast approaching.  Ash Wednesday is tomorrow, in fact, and I have contemplated what I should give up for the next 40 days, and ultimately for good.  As I sat in counseling this evening with my husband, my answer came to me.  I am going to give up fear...wait, just saying it like that doesn't sound right, let me rephrase...I am going to give up my fear to the Lord.  Yes!  That sounds better and possible.

Truthfully, I attempt things in my life that I am almost 100% positive I can succeed at...i.e. going to school for cosmetology instead of for journalism.  Don't get me wrong, I love and have a passion for doing hair but my dream was actually to write for the New York Times.  I did not pursue that dream because I was not confident as a student and afraid it would not become reality and so I spared myself from possible failure but in doing so I limited myself from greater accomplishment.  Fear stopped me from full-filling my heart's desire.  I still fall into this same pattern today in my Christian walk.  I tend to extend just the right amount of grace to show the level of Christ's love that I am comfortable with while still maintaining some self preservation.  Fear stops me from experiencing the true love of Christ, and from giving it to others.  Fear stops me from being who I desire to be.  I need to stop allowing myself to avoid the possibility of pain, struggle, and FAILURE when the truth is all of those things WILL mold me into the person I long to be as long as I allow it to with God's help.

A Dream come True

Once upon a time (this past Saturday), in a land far, far away (Albany, GA) two girls (that'd be me and my dear friend Christie) full-filled a dream that neither thought would actually become reality.  It's true.  There were days these beautiful girls doubted themselves, beat themselves up, gave up at times and said things like, "There is no way I will ever be able to do this." but that cloudy cold Friday afternoon came and with smiles on their faces and the top down (yes, cold does not prevent the fun to be had in a convertible), they headed to a little town three hours south of their homes, full of nervousness, and excitement about what the future would hold.

They had prepared for this day for many months.  They trained hard day in and day out.  They got up, got moving, through good days and bad, they did the work necessary to eventually accomplish a goal.  During this time, while they thought they were just training, what they failed to realize was that a very close relationship began to form.  These girls began to rely on each other, edify one another, counsel, encourage, pray, cry, laugh, and most of all, share the love of Christ with the other.  They were buffing the other to become a better individual and even if the day never came where the dream would be full-filled, just the time spent together was prize enough, but the morning did come.  It was finally here. They woke up early after listening the 3 different alarms go off, began to strap on their gear and again began to encourage the other through words and the action of just being along side the other with a silent promise that what was about to happen would not have to be done alone.

Moments later, they stood at the starting line with knots in their stomachs and anxiousness in their legs waiting for the gun shot. POW! and they were off.  The energy was blazing, the crowd was cheering, and the weather was...well...it was still cool and cloudy but beautiful none the less.  They both took their first running strides towards the dream of finishing a half marathon.  Before the first mile marker, the rain started and Joy (that's me) began to pray, out loud, not only for the rain to subside but also for her and her sweet friend to have strength, endurance, safety, and just a great experience and the Lord certainly answered their prayers.  By mile 2 the rain was gone.  So quickly the mile markers seemed to pass and with each one was the humbling experience of United States Marines cheering them on.  They tried to express their gratitude to these selfless men and women for their service to our county as they passed the best they could, for they knew that without them on the front lines, they would not have to opportunity to full-fill this dream of theirs.  During their journey, they were surrounded with some of God's beautiful creations. Their favorite and most memorable were the huge trees with strong branches covered in spanish moss that created a canopy for them to run through.  Soon, mile 9, mile 10, and mile 11 were things of the past and mile 12 was fast approaching.  Christie (the dear sweet friend of Joy's) began to speak those encouraging words that Joy so desperately needed to hear at that time.  With each sweet word, Joy could feel her groggy stride become stronger and the serious, focused, cemented expression she carried on her face began to soften with a smile.  Christie pulled her through without even realizing it.  Then, there it was, mile 13!  Only 0.1 more miles to go.  The sound of the crowd grew, the finish line was in site and unrecognizable power grew in their legs.  Seconds later, almost side by side they crossed over the line of a dream becoming a reality.  Hands in the air, they gave high fives then flung their arms around the other.  They did it! They proved to themselves that the impossible can become possible and they had in themselves what it took to make it happen.

                                                    THE END!!!

Thank you to all of those who supported and prayed for me and Christie over this past weekend.  It was truly an amazing experience and we could not have done it with out you all.  We love you very much and may God bless you!

  

This being my first post is exciting and so I will just jump right in as if I have been doing this all along:

I freaked out today, well not officially today... it has been a slow progression all week but today I finally flipped hard core, abandoning all the things that I have learned, that God has taught me, and went running for the shelter of anger and fear.  Luckily, God has the ability to talk bluntly to me through my husband and though it is extremely hard to hear (especially from him) through the wax build up of pride that gathers in my ears, I actually listened this time and was able to recognize what I was doing and snap out of my despair.  I was/am actually pretty excited about this development.  To me, it shows that walls are being brought down and logical, loving sense is able to actually penetrate my heart.  I pray that one day I will find fear is not actually a shelter but a coffin and that not have the knee jerk reaction of running to IT but to God instead.  Yes...to God instead, He is my strength and true shelter.