In the Light

Ephesians 5: 9-14

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)  and find out what pleases the Lord.  Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.  It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.  This is why it is said:“Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

There is a period in my life that I refer to as "walking in the dark".  It came after things were exposed in my marriage and I fell into a state of numbness and depression.  I contemplated suicide on several occasions.  I allowed my emotions to over take me, causing self detriment and the list goes on with many other very "dark" behaviors pouring out of me that I had never felt nor had to deal with.  However, all the while, Christ was ever pursuing, ever loving, and ever wooing me, even when I would try to fight him off or didn't even realize he was doing it.  

This past Sunday, the sermon my priest gave was on the scripture above and it really made me stop and think.  In fact, I specifically heard the Lord ask me, "Why do you call My LIGHT your darkness?" The truth is, I have had it all backwards (I tend to screw that up quite often).  The hardest time in my life (thus far) hasn't been because God abandoned me but because He turned his light on in my life, my marriage, exposing everything so that nothing could be left in the dark, and walked me/us through how to trust him even more than I already did.  My actual darkness was before the Lord exposed all things and it was fruitless.  I had no experience to empathize or sympathize with anyone.  My words were empty, my faith was empty, and my relationship with Christ was extremely shallow.  

I love how in the scripture above it says, "everything that is illuminated becomes a light".  It's strange to think that such nasty, evil, ugliness can actually be turned into something pure and holy as light but that's the awesomeness of our God.  He can bring testimony, purpose, and righteousness out of anything and everything in our lives if we allow ourselves to live under His illumination.  

Living in the light is much tougher than living in the dark ONLY when we do not put our faith in the Lord.  This is why we struggle so much and consider it "a dark time" when all things are exposed.  However, living in the light of our Abba brings freedom and LIFE...Wake up sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.  

Removing A Splinter

I walked downstairs, following the sounds of my screaming and crying five year old, and saw her laying on the floor, my husband sitting cross legged in front of her, her feet in his lap, and tweezers in my husband's hand.  Jocelyn had gotten a splinter in her foot and Daddy was vainly attempting to pull it out.  Every time he would grab her toe to brace her foot, she would yell out in pain, jerk her foot away, and roll around screaming about how bad it was going to hurt if he touched it.  After a while, my husband had had enough, scooted away from her and said, "Joci, you have to relax.  Do you trust me?   I will not be able to get this out of your foot unless you trust me but I am not going to force you to allow me to do it either.  The choice is yours.  If you want to get rid of this splinter that is causing you pain, trust me and push through, than I will be glad to remove it, but if you aren't ready, if you won't stop fighting me then the splinter will just have to stay where it is."

I have seen this scenario happen all too often in my own life between me and the Lord.  I'll come to Him, asking Him to help me get rid of the splinter in my foot, be it un-forgiveness, pride, bitterness, hurt, etc... only to fight like a mad dog in a muzzle when I see the surgical tools He plans on using to rid me of my affliction.  In my human eyes, the tools appear very sharp and hold the possibility of feeling more painful than the splinter stuck in my flesh  Then, just like my husband with our daughter, He looks at me with gentle eyes, puts down the utensils and waits patiently until I am ready, really ready.  He does not force His hand; He assures me that I can trust Him; and makes very known that it is my choice, but once I choose Him, that I will have the ability to walk pain free.

The truth is, God's refinement does hurt our flesh more than our affliction does at times but the end result is complete healing.  Once we surrender to His "surgical procedures" we don't have to walk around with a limp, open wound, or blurred eye sight any longer.  We are given freedom in all things; to receive blessings and pour them out; to receive love and give it unconditionally; and to share our story of healing, giving opportunity to others to trust in our Abba and His ability to heal.  Even better, He gives our affliction purpose.  He works it out for His good.  He gives us a testimony and recollection so that we can gain thankfulness and appreciate His love for us.

Our Daddy is a good and patient one.

Hebrews 12:1
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.


Romans 5:3
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;