Leaving the Darkness

To say "I grew comfortable with living in the dark", is an understatment.  I learned to thrive in the dark.  The Lord changed who I was while I was in darkness, and changed my name there.  He met me in the depths of the shadows and gave me visions, answers, love, tenderness, dicipline, and direction.  When I lost all hope and trust, he took me to the desert and woed me.  He stripped me of all I had and asked me to place it all in Him.  He waited and pursued and waited some more.  It became quite the love story and when I was ready, I let Him rescue me and like a bride in her lovers arms, He carried me over the threshold into our new home but I couldn't settle in.  I grew anxious, and like Gomer, I walked away and back into the darkness.  I was scared; scared of being hurt; scared to walk in faith and truth; scared to trust and hope and He would show up again, in the depths of the shawdows, with arms open asking me to come back home.  Our Lord is faithful and patient (thankfully) and back home I came.

Stepping onto the ground of complete healing and total restoration, for me, was like stepping off of a boat that had been at sea for two years and onto dry land.  My sea legs had to adjust and like stepping out of a dark room and into the sun, my eyes had to adjust as well.  I had to trust in all that the Lord had told me while I was away and put my faith into practice here in this new place.  The move has not been as easy as one would think.  I had hoped that I would gladly accept and quickly take comfort in the warmth of the light and that I was more than ready to make my new home here but seeing my new reflection has been strange and yet one of beauty; one that I am ready to accept.  I have tasted the bitterness of betrayal and been washed clean of it's stains by HIS blood.  There is not a day that goes by that I am not humbled by what He has done for me.  He found me worthy of rescuing and the rocks will not have to cry out on my behalf, for I will praise His name forever. 

This season of darkness has ended, and I can honestly say now, that I am ready.  Thank you Jesus, I am ready.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.